


Have a Bath

by nancy12e



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 02:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5850358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nancy12e/pseuds/nancy12e
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if none of the hobbits understood elvish? At the council of Elrond, other languages are spoken, yet no interpretation given. As can be expected, Pippin is confused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have a Bath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redrosegirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redrosegirl/gifts).



> This is something I wrote several years ago after a late night conversation with my sister. I found it when I was cleaning out my files, and decided "Hey, why not post this?" It's not great writing, and I know there are many holes in it, but I hope someone enjoys this little bit of silliness.

The council of Elrond has been convened. Aragorn has just said Havo dad to Legolas, who has just proclaimed who Aragorn is. However, the hobbits misunderstand and think he just told Legolas to have a bath. After the council, they have a meeting of their own.

Pippin: I thought the elves never needed to bathe.

Merry: Of course they have to bathe. You can’t go for thousands of years without getting clean. It’s orcs who don’t bathe.

Sam: I did think I smelled some taters. I guess Legalas must have been digging in the garden. 

Merry: Speaking of hygiene, why did Gimli offer you his Axe, Frodo? You bathed just this morning.

Pippin: Perhaps it's some weird dwarf custom? I don't think they bathe often, and Axe is definitely strong enough to mask even the foulest body odor.

Frodo: Actually I think Aragorn was speaking in elvish. I’m afraid I’m not very good at it yet, but I think he said “You’re an Idiot, Legolas”.

Sam: Why would he say that?

Frodo: Probably because random Mary-Sues keep popping up wherever he goes, and he's not sure Legolas will be much help if he keeps blowing our cover like that.


End file.
